I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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