bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
