I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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