If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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