and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
