dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Randomize
