I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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