Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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