pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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