You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
