I think im going to throw up on grandma
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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