Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
