the condom got lost in my hair
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
