I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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