I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
