Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
