To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize