and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
