I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
