Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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