I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
