That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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