Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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