My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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