Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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