Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
