Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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