Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
