Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
