I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Semen is not good for contacts.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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