Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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