after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
