roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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