doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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