Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My ass is underappreciated
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
