I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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