Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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