I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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