Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
