Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
