Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
