3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
