Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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