I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize