I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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