do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
