when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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