Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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