What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
