the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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