You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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