No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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