We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
