.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
