I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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