Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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