Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
