I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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