what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
