I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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