Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
