you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
