READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize